Highlights, thus far...

This week has been insane. No joke. I've been exhausted every single afternoon, but I've had so much fun, and I've looked forward to the start of each new day. I thought it would be beneficial to us all if I just made note of some of the highlights of the week, thus far.

1. The Captains. As I'm leading this group of children around the island of Patmos (which was formerly, as in last week, also know as Grace Community Church), I'm privileged to have quite the eclectic group of guys and gals. I have the bossy older sister and the quite, obedient one. There's the smart kid with the hidden talent of beat-boxing, and the kid who tells random stories at inappropriate times. This year, in addition to all those, there's Captian Cries A Lot. He has such a tender heart...maybe too tender, because he can cry at the drop of a hat. I was sharing this with my younger brother, and he said, "Tell him Captian Whoop Some Butt will come straighten him out!" Gotta love Giffeh--that's all there is to that. It made for a nice laugh and a much more laid back morning with my new friends.

2. Emmett Stallings. There's a man in my church who, back in February, was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has has quite the bout with treatments, procedures, equipment, and such. His wife has a blog, and she has been given so much grace to be completely transparent and vulnerable during this time. It has not been an easy road for that family at all, but it's been a blessing to watch them keep the faith the whole way. Today, as we were singing during closing ceremony, I look up and see Emmett doing his percussion thing on stage. He was back in his element!! Granted, he was seated in a chair to keep from getting too worn out, but it was such a blessing to see him doing that which God has giften him to do. I couldn't stop smiling. Our God is the Healer!!!

3. Smiling Faces. If you haven't gathered, this has been a tiring week. Nearly 400 kids makes for a crazy time no matter what you are trying to accomplish--especially if you're trying to let them have fun and teach them God's truths at the same time. It's easy to get frustrated when 12 kids are saying your name at the same time. It's human nature to get tired and cranky after being in the sun for hours at a time. It's a pure joy, however, to see smiling faces of those who are working with these kids. When I see Megan Kersey smiling at the end of the day, I know she's just as tired as I am, but she has the joy of Jesus. When I see Caleb Krebs jumping up and down with the kids during worship, I know he's worn out like the rest of us, but he's sacrificing. When I see college-aged, basketball star Daniel Kelley carrying around a young girl's pink backpack purse so that she can enjoy her activities, I see the love of Christ. It's good to see kids having fun, but it's almost even better to watch people...peers...friends...serve and smile while doing it.

4. Zucchini Muffins. I got home late last night, and I had three homemade chocolate chip zucchini bread muffins waiting for me at my door. One of the house mothers made a batch of muffins, and she found it in her heart to think of the girl in apartment 6. They were D...wait for it...Licious. :)

5. The lightbulb on Day 4. As I'm going over the lesson today and tying it in with the skit, games, and songs from worship, I sensed excitement in the kids. I even noticed the lightbulb come on in a couple of them. It was all starting to make sense. It was no longer a bunch of random, hodge podge of fun. It was all being woven together. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. It's exciting!

6. "Places in the Heart". The other day, I saw about 40 minutes of this movie. I had never seen it before, but what I saw that day, I really enjoyed it. Sometime soon, I will rent it and watch it in its entirety. Dureing the 40 minutes I was able to watch it, I saw several intense scenes of many different raw, human emotions very adequately portrayed on screen. There are so many things that go on in our hearts, and I feel like we often keep them bottled up. It was neat to see how this movie portrayed them so well. I look forward to seeing the rest of it.

7. Laughing with the girls. Wednesday night Bible study is always a good time for me. There's usually only 4 of us there, but we have so much fun. It seems like the schedule of events chages from week to week, but there's always a common thread of honesty, fellowship, and lots and lots of laughter. This week, I especially needed all three of those things. It was a blast!

8. Rocky Banks' playwrighting ability. If you don't know him, look his up. He's incredible. Another talented member of Grace, he wrote the skit for VBS. It is awesome. Each night, I've come home and read the next day's scene. Each night, I end up in tears. Absoultely incredible. The passion sensed in his writing the Gospel in a narrative form like he's done has been somehting that my heart has desperately needed these past few days. I have benefited greatly from it.

As you can see, it's been a whirlwind of a week, but it's been so much fun. What's even better is there's more to come. Golly, I'm like a kid in a candy store. I can't get enough. I can't wait to see what God will do next!

it's for the grown-ups, too

I found out some disappointing news today. It’s stuff that I don’t yet want to talk about. My feelings were hurt, I was let down, frustrated, and a little in shock. Trying to get my mind of things, I turned to the VBS material. I have the privilege of leading of group of 12 children around this week. They are my “church family”, and I get to build relationships with them and talk to them about the things they are learning—things centered around the Gospel. It can wear you out, but when does ministry not do that??

In my state of sadness, disappointment, frustration, and anger with the Enemy, I began reading tomorrow’s scene in the week’s drama. At the end of the act, I came across this quote:

“So now here you sit with the pain of betrayal. But Agatha, you have betrayed, you have lied, you have sinned. I know, because I have, too. But Jesus has taken away our sin; He died for it. He forgives sin…Have faith, turn to Him, repent and believe. Oh, how many times I’ve preached those words to others and myself. I am nearly ninety years old, but those words are still sweet and new every day.”

Oh, that I may not judge. May I love, instead. For that is what Christ did for me.

In the Waiting Room

Okay, so I like music. A lot. There are times, though, that I find a really good song--even times, although rare, that I find a really good record. I know it's a good find when I can go months without hearing it, and hearing it again is like hearing it for the first time. Shane and Shane's Psalms is one of these for me. I bought the thing over five years ago, and I've listened to it in its entirety more times than I can count. Each time I play it, though, a different song speaks to my heart. Today was no different. I'm driving down the road, simultaneously swapping CDs in the player (kids, don't try this at home), when "Waiting Room" smacks me in the face. It's a song that I know quite well, but today the words were like a fresh, quiet breath from the Holy Spirit. It brought rest to my weary heart, peace to my racing mind, and a little more clarity to my confusion, and before I knew it, I was allowed to utter those same lyrics as a prayer to my Sovereign Lord.

I will run when I cannot walk
I will sing when there is no song
I will pray when there is no prayer
I will listen when I cannot hear

Sitting in the waiting room of silence
Waiting for that still soft voice I know
Offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
Trusting that this closet's where You are

Lord I know if I change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time's from You
So I sit in the waiting room of silence
Cause it´s all about You

I will fight when I cannot feel
I will trust when You don't seem real
I will tell when I cannot speak
I will step when I cannot see

Sometimes, I feel like life's not all that exciting right now. If I'm honest, I often wish I was at the next step, doing the next big thing. I wish I was finished with school, pursuing my career, in a relationship, and the list goes on. I find myself getting discouraged when people ask how I'm spending my summer, because compared to their adventures, my days of Smoothie King and life guarding aren't that glamorous. God's reminding me, though, that just because I may not feel like mush is happening doesn't mean He's not at work. What does He have to teach me on Thursday nights while I watch kids swim? How can I learn from and serve Him while I mix fruits in blenders?

I want to sing when there seems to be no song, to pray when there seems to be no prayer, to listen when I can't seem to hear. I want to fight when I can't seem to feel and step when I can't seem to see. I want to trust Him when He doesn't seem real. This silence...yeah, it's from Him, too. I'll sit in it, I'll rejoice in it, and I'll wait for Him.

Easily Entangled

I guess I've never noticed just how quickly a vine can grow. I was recently given a bike, which I was pretty pumped about. While I have never riden much, I looked forward to making time to ride. The Friday before last, I was privileged to go on a bike ride with my friends on campus. We had great fun, and it felt really good to put the bike to use and simultaneously feel the sun and wind in my face. After the ride, I propped the bike up against the front of my apartment, looking forward to the next time I would go for a ride. That was 10 days ago.

This afternoon, I decided to go riding around my neighborhood. I knew there are several large hills nearby, but I was geared up and ready for the challenge. I went to get the bike when I noticed that it was stuck. Vines had spiraled their way around several of the spokes on the back wheel. It wasn't just looped around a couple of times. When I say "spiraled", I mean it. I'm talking the whole length of the spokes and then some. I couldn't believe it. It had only been a mere 10 days that the bike had been in that position. You would have thought it had been there for months.

The thought then came to me: "That's exactly what sin does, and then some." I can be chilling, waiting on the next big adventure, when the small, seemingly insignificant sins around me can, in no time, choke the life out of me. It may first start to grab hold of a thought (a spoke...no big deal, right? Wrong!), but the thoughts turn into to words and actions.

This teaches me two things:
1. Plead to the Father to grant grace that kills sin when it is first noticed. How imperative it is to not get comfortable with sin! It must die, and it must die quickly. If it doesn't, it will give birth to death.
2. Don't be lazy under the guise of relaxation. This practically invites sin in. I may not feel like this is the most exciting or adventurous time in my life, but that gives no room for idleness. Even when I feel like life is mundane (which is, I'm learning, never really the case), I should be making myself busy about His business. For He is always working in my heart; I'm just not always paying attention to the things He is doing. Instead of relaxation, why not pursue a greater knowledge of Him? Since I'm free from projects and exams for the next month, why not dig deeply into the Word each day? Since I'm not currently bound to memorizing muscle and joint patterns, why not meditate on Scripture?

When I'm lazy, I give way to sin. Seeing that vine wound so tightly around the spokes of my bike reminded me of how tightly sin can grab hold of and so subtly choke me. Father, I ask for Your grace that allows me to see the sin in my life. May I heed Your Word and take every thought captive, making every effort to kill sin before it kills me.

Have you eaten your Bread today?

Yesterday, I did something I've never done before--I made a delicious loaf of bread. Granted, it was rise-and-bake rolls that ended up as one glob of dough, but in the end, it was, nonetheless, delicious. I'd be lying if I said it didn't constitute two of my last 3 meals. I, ashamedly, admit that I let guilt get the best of me, and I started dogging myself about my lack of self control and pathetic eating habits.

Just a few moments ago, as I was running on the treadmill at the gym, sweat running down my face, I was reminded of that passages that speak of Jesus being the Bread of Life and during Jesus' temptation, when He answered Satan, telling him that "Man does not live on bread alone..."

Yes, the bread last night was fantasticaly delicious, and it satisfied for a moment, but you know what? I woke up hungry this morning. You know what else? I got hungry at lunchtime, too. Yes, there was physical hunger still there, but I truly believe there was and is a longing...a hunger...deep down within me that a few pieces of warm, buttered bread can never satisfy.

So often, I feel like overeating is one of my greatest temptations. That's what happened with the bread, and I saw what happened afterwards. I wasn't ultimately satisfied. It's times like this when I wish I could just say no to the temptation in the first place. I'm then reminded of God's promise in Corinthians:

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

I love this verse because it's not sugar-coated. It doesn't promise a life of no temptation. In fact, it promises that we will have temptation, but it also promises that God will provide a way of escape. He promises endurance through temptation. For me, that's incredibly encouraging! Temptation is inevitable; it's part of the Christian walk. Here's the great part: It's not impossible to say no. Jesus did!