In the Waiting Room

Okay, so I like music. A lot. There are times, though, that I find a really good song--even times, although rare, that I find a really good record. I know it's a good find when I can go months without hearing it, and hearing it again is like hearing it for the first time. Shane and Shane's Psalms is one of these for me. I bought the thing over five years ago, and I've listened to it in its entirety more times than I can count. Each time I play it, though, a different song speaks to my heart. Today was no different. I'm driving down the road, simultaneously swapping CDs in the player (kids, don't try this at home), when "Waiting Room" smacks me in the face. It's a song that I know quite well, but today the words were like a fresh, quiet breath from the Holy Spirit. It brought rest to my weary heart, peace to my racing mind, and a little more clarity to my confusion, and before I knew it, I was allowed to utter those same lyrics as a prayer to my Sovereign Lord.

I will run when I cannot walk
I will sing when there is no song
I will pray when there is no prayer
I will listen when I cannot hear

Sitting in the waiting room of silence
Waiting for that still soft voice I know
Offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
Trusting that this closet's where You are

Lord I know if I change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time's from You
So I sit in the waiting room of silence
Cause it´s all about You

I will fight when I cannot feel
I will trust when You don't seem real
I will tell when I cannot speak
I will step when I cannot see

Sometimes, I feel like life's not all that exciting right now. If I'm honest, I often wish I was at the next step, doing the next big thing. I wish I was finished with school, pursuing my career, in a relationship, and the list goes on. I find myself getting discouraged when people ask how I'm spending my summer, because compared to their adventures, my days of Smoothie King and life guarding aren't that glamorous. God's reminding me, though, that just because I may not feel like mush is happening doesn't mean He's not at work. What does He have to teach me on Thursday nights while I watch kids swim? How can I learn from and serve Him while I mix fruits in blenders?

I want to sing when there seems to be no song, to pray when there seems to be no prayer, to listen when I can't seem to hear. I want to fight when I can't seem to feel and step when I can't seem to see. I want to trust Him when He doesn't seem real. This silence...yeah, it's from Him, too. I'll sit in it, I'll rejoice in it, and I'll wait for Him.