Tears of joy?

Sometimes when I step back and look at life from a bigger perspective than my selfish, Sarah-colored lenses, I'm fascinated and amazed at how intricately God is weaving every single tiny detail of this story together. He really is orchestrating even the minutest of sounds into something gloriously pleasant to His ears...and it's for my good. What?!

It happens fairly often that I just need to cry. There are probably many girls who say this, but it's pretty accurate for me. I mean, about half the time, I literally have no reason to be crying. It's just something I need to do. About 40% of the time, I know why I'm crying, but it's not a legitimate reason to be doing so. The other ten percent of the time (and that's probably being generous), I am crying about something that's worth it. I'm not sure how you'd classify tonight.

There've been lots of changes in my life recently, and I'm grateful. Because of those changes, though, I am experiencing lots of different emotions all at one time. I've personally watched and felt God change the desires, affections, and convictions of my heart. I'll even be so bold as to say He's doing it right now as these tear-stained cheeks fight back more salty water. It's times like this that I'm so grateful that He's at work, but I'm reminded that I can't trust my heart, for it's deceitful and wicked above all things. It evokes in me, though, even more gratitude for my Father, who knows my heart. Even in the pain, confusion, and sadness, though, I can honestly say I know joy. It's not always surface level, but it's there--rooted down deep, all the time making more roots in my soul...roots that sustain that which bears fruit, even in the midst of heavy rain.