Oh, to be like Him!

One thing can only be 'like' something else if the latter is bigger, greater, more significant than the former. A picture is like a landscape, and not vice versa. A daughter is able to be like her mother only because her mother existed first and serves as the very validation of such a comment being made. The landscape has more value than the picture, and the mother is greater than the daughter in the sense that she lives out her personality before her daughter, who seems to emulate characteristics of that personality, was even born.

I realize that, up against God, all analogies fail, but bear with me. God is not like us, but we are being made like Him. God is holy, uniquely different from us, so he cannot be "a better version of us", but does Scripture not tell us to be holy like He is holy? Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that one day we will be equal to God in His holiness, but this I know for sure is that we were made in His image. He was not made in ours. He sent His Son to become like us (whoa, wait...what?!), to justify us with Himself. God, the Father is now sanctifying us to be more and more like Him. Oh, for the day of glorification when we get to see the perfected, finished work of the One we are like!

ramblings

No, I don't own a television. Yes, I went to the movies with my grandmother on Monday night. Yes, I still use the post office. No, I don't own a Mac. Yes, I'll most likely have lunch with someone in their nineties tomorrow. Yes, I, along with Lauren Smothers and two of the VanNeste boys are the only non-college, pre-marriage people who stuck with it. No, I've never dyed my hair. Yes, I prefer Truth over humor. No, I don't like animals. Yes, my brothers and daddy have a say. Yes, I talk to my mom nearly every day. Now, hi, my name is Sarah. Would you like to go on?

Tears of joy?

Sometimes when I step back and look at life from a bigger perspective than my selfish, Sarah-colored lenses, I'm fascinated and amazed at how intricately God is weaving every single tiny detail of this story together. He really is orchestrating even the minutest of sounds into something gloriously pleasant to His ears...and it's for my good. What?!

It happens fairly often that I just need to cry. There are probably many girls who say this, but it's pretty accurate for me. I mean, about half the time, I literally have no reason to be crying. It's just something I need to do. About 40% of the time, I know why I'm crying, but it's not a legitimate reason to be doing so. The other ten percent of the time (and that's probably being generous), I am crying about something that's worth it. I'm not sure how you'd classify tonight.

There've been lots of changes in my life recently, and I'm grateful. Because of those changes, though, I am experiencing lots of different emotions all at one time. I've personally watched and felt God change the desires, affections, and convictions of my heart. I'll even be so bold as to say He's doing it right now as these tear-stained cheeks fight back more salty water. It's times like this that I'm so grateful that He's at work, but I'm reminded that I can't trust my heart, for it's deceitful and wicked above all things. It evokes in me, though, even more gratitude for my Father, who knows my heart. Even in the pain, confusion, and sadness, though, I can honestly say I know joy. It's not always surface level, but it's there--rooted down deep, all the time making more roots in my soul...roots that sustain that which bears fruit, even in the midst of heavy rain.

weird

I realized tonight that if I don't purposely fill my time with meaningful tasks, my free time is quickly wasted on futile facebook updates, roamings around the apartment, eating the second or third snack of the night, feeling sorry for myself, or looking at pictures for the 5th time in a row. When I read, I learn. When I write, I comprehend. Through writing, I make sense of my thoughts, I learn more of the depths of my soul, and I'm driven to the cross and repentance, where I am healed. It's a beautiful thing. That being said, here's an attempt to write more often.

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about the differences I've noticed in my thoughts, convictions, values, and such as compared to the world--even as compared to other believers. It so often seems that I have a different opinion/thought process/value system/list of priorities than most people I'm around...in every area of life. Here's an example. My co-workers are busting their tails at 2nd and 3rd jobs (aside from their full time positions) to make money they don't need. For what? Logic would assume the reason to be in order to pay for the stuff they don't need. See my point? Learn to live within your means, and do so without losing your sanity.

Maybe I'm super weird for wanting a family (and a life fit to enjoy them) someday. Call me a strange bird since I like leaving the workplace after 8 hours and having time to enjoy a run at the park. I don't even care if you think it's crazy that I prefer cooking than eating out. So what. Shoot, it doesn't even phase me when you call me a fool for being 23 and seeking the Lord about what to do with this money I'm not used to having, versus putting it all in a Life Insurance policy or 401K or even a savings account.

All I can say is this world is not my home. I'm so thankful for that promise. I'm longing for a new heaven and a new earth. Come, Lord Jesus. Until then, I'll just keep being weird.

His deeds have made me glad.

It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare Your loving kindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night. With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp, With resounding music upon the lyre. For You, O Lord, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the work of Your hands. How great are Your works, O Lord! Your thoughts are very deep. --Psalm 92:1-5

Today, my heart is happy. My heart is glad. I've been learning a lot about God's sovereignty and His providence. With the new learning, my mind has been graciously bent towards thinking along such lines. How sweet it is to reflect on God's providential hand in all matters of life--even the most seemingly minute of details! Today, I'm specifically praising Him for friendship, for His timeline, and for His provision.

Decision Time

I'm at a point where I don't know what to do. It's not that one option is clearly selfish desire and the other is God's plan. I mean, that's obviously the case, but the two options could equally be either God's will or my selfishness. Does that make sense? I am looking at two different job opportunities, and they both seem good. I'm trusting that God has opened these doors, and He will continue to direct me in the way He's chosen. In the mean time, I really need His wisdom. I came across these lyrics, and I felt like they were speaking the things that my heart hasn't been able to formulate yet. Some of these things, I don't understand, and the only way I'll be able to do so--to prayerfully and honestly sing these words--is to be granted His wisdom. Oh, that I may continue to grow through the process and really be sensitive to the work that my Father is doing.

The Perfect Wisdom of Our God
Words & Music by Keith Getty and
Stuart Townend
© 2011 Thankyou Music and Gettymusic

The perfect wisdom of our God,
Revealed in all the universe:
All things created by His hand,
And held together at His command.
He knows the mysteries of the seas,
The secrets of the stars are His;
He guides the planets on their way,
And turns the earth through another day.

The matchless wisdom of His ways,
That mark the path of righteousness;
His word a lamp unto my feet,
His Spirit teaching and guiding me.
And oh, the mystery of the cross,
That God should suffer for the lost
So that the fool might shame the wise,
And all the glory might go to Christ!

Oh grant me wisdom from above,
To pray for peace and cling to love,
And teach me humbly to receive
The sun and rain of Your sovereignty.
Each strand of sorrow has a place
Within this tapestry of grace;
So through the trials I choose to say:
“Your perfect will in your perfect way.”

True Family

I've been thinking a lot recently about the difference between biological family and family through Christ. I heard some people talking recently about how close the were to family members. This made me a little sad because I'm not all that close to my extended family. Yes, I love them, and I get to see them a couple of times a year, but I'm not especially close like some people are. I've never been to a formal family reunion. I don't have daily or even weekly phone conversations with aunts, uncles, and cousins. As I type, I'm sitting in a hospital room with family members that I feel greatly distanced from. When mailing cards and invitations, I have to ask for or look up my grandparents' addresses. When I think about how close other people are to their family members, it makes me a little sad.

Then I remember the close relationships I have with people I am not biologically related to. I think about Mr. Frank, to whom I am not related, but in every other way feels like a grandfather. I think about Bro. Ron, who probably can read me better than most people and basically helped my parents raise me. I think about Alison McCarthy who is miles away, and whom I haven't seen in several years, but whom I incredibly miss and love to catch up with. I think about Aaron, who said to me the other day, "We don't have anything in common except for the Thing that matters most." I think about Mallory who lives on the other side of the world, who I can still pray with and love like a sister even though there's no biological relation.

I realize that all of these cases are so because of the bonds I share in Christ with each of them. I realize that my unbelieving friends and family can't know such special relationships with people. It saddens me for them, for I know that my closest friendships and relationships go far beyond phone calls and face-to-face encounters. We have a common goal, and one day will spend eternity worshiping Him together. Jesus, the One who holds all things together, makes us one in Him. He spans the oceans that separate, He allows for commonality when there seems to be none, He makes room for more at the family table. I'm so thankful for my family in Christ.